Dear Friend,
I had this plan to write a lot of things on here. Feelings, thoughts, whatever was left to say. I thought about it for a long time. Much longer than you realize, I imagine. But as the days went by, we spoke less and less, and most opportunities to actively communicate became a closed door. I recognize that was probably by design. Maybe it wasn't, maybe I don't know you as well as I think I do. But that doesn't really matter anymore.
I asked you a question a while back that you never gave me an answer to. I won't say what it was, you're welcome to guess. The important part is that I already knew the answer. I just didn't know that I knew what it was until after the words slipped out. What's funny is that had I known to ask years ago, my life would look a hell of a lot different than it does now. I don't know if I should thank you or not, but without you, I wouldn't be here.
It's October 13th. Depending on when you read this, I may or may not be married at this point. I'm excited, nervous, financially crippled, and in awe of the love and kindness that has surrounded me.
While I swore to you up and down that things would hardly be different, they feel different. So much of our relationship has been me waiting for a reaction from you; that's what this was when I started writing. And I realized sometime between starting and now that I didn't want that anymore. I don't think I ever did.
By the time you read this, I'll be gone. I know you hate goodbyes, and I know you would do everything you could do to get out of one. But this isn't for you. This letter is for me, because I need it. I know that sucks. But I know you'll understand, as well. Consider this closure, if you must. I have no hard feelings for you, and I hope the same from you.
I will always care about you, your daughter, your family. I promise that much. I know you feel the same. The impact you’ve made on my life has been great. I hope I’ve done the same for you, as well. I won’t say I won’t miss you because I will. Always. Whether you feel the same or not is irrelevant, but I hope I made a real impact on you as well.
I hope you have the best life. I hope Aurelia does as well. I wish you safety and health, I wish you love, and most of all, I wish you happiness. You deserve it.
Later, skater.
Less than three, and all that bullshit.
-Me.
